10 Signs of Toxic Positivity

In today’s world of social media, it seems like there’s a constant barrage of messages telling us to smile and keep our chin up in the face of adversity.

Dr. Barry Schwartz, a psychology professor at Swarthmore College, has written several books on the subject. In his book, The Paradox of Choice (HarperCollins, 2004), he argues that people are often deluded about their options and their happiness levels.

Schwartz says we often tend to make decisions based on our perception of how things are going rather than how we feel. This tendency is particularly pronounced in modern life because of the high availability of information about the world.

“You have to look at things differently,” Schwartz told The New York Times in 2005. “If you’re going to make your decisions based on how you feel, you have to take into account that most of the time, you’ll feel bad, not good.”

What Is Toxic Positivity?

Toxic positivity is the belief that people should always have a positive mindset no matter how dire or difficult a situation is. It’s a “good vibes only” approach to life. And while there are benefits to being an optimist and engaging in positive thinking, toxic positivity instead rejects difficult emotions in favor of a cheerful, often falsely positive, facade.

Toxic positivity is most frequently seen on social media platforms like Facebook and Instagram. The messages we see are overwhelmingly optimistic and encouraging; they’re meant to make people feel like the best version of themselves instead of just accepting that they will inevitably be sad sometimes.

When toxic positivity is focused on specific topics, it can result in people’s perception of an issue drastically changing. For example, a person who has been struggling with depression may see a plethora of messages telling them that they’re not alone and don’t have to feel depressed.

This shift in perception can be beneficial. Still, it also opens the door for the people sending the messages to manipulate their recipients’ beliefs about something and “train” them towards a particular viewpoint.

Today, with the prevalence of social media, it seems like everyone is sucking up to an invisible audience and trying to appear positive and upbeat at all times. The result is that we’re often living in a distorted reality where things are brighter, happier, and just plain better than they are.

Let’s look at some signs that you might be practicing toxic positivity. If you recognize yourself in any or all of these signs, it might be time to think about implementing some adjustments into your life.

Toxic Positivity: 10 Signs You Might Be A Victim

1. The positive messages you see online are too good to be true.
2. Your friendships are predicated on positivity and happiness, rather than on just having fun together.
3. You’re trading in your compassion for positivity and cheerfulness.
4. You’re not sure how you feel about certain situations, so you’re holding back your genuine opinion.
5. You feel like people are dishonest when they don’t act happy all the time.
6. You find yourself thinking that it’s wrong to be upset.
7. You’re always telling yourself how awesome everything is, even when you know it’s not true.
8. You feel pressured to hide your negative emotions to appear more positive or more in control of yourself than you are.
9. You sometimes feel as though you don’t have the right to be upset when everyone around you is going through their struggles.
10. You’re trying to mask your true feelings with positivity because of pressure from others.

Final Thoughts

Positive thinking has benefits, but toxic positivity can cause people to be dishonest with themselves and others, and it can blur the line between genuine happiness and a forced facade.

If you feel like your positive thinking is getting out of hand, take a step back and think about the underlying reasons why you’re practicing it, to begin with. Are you trying to seem happy when in reality, you aren’t? Or are you genuinely trying to put yourself in a more positive mindset?

While there’s no replacement for happiness, the key to being happy is feeling free enough to be unhappy sometimes. Successful people have the awareness and resilience to know when they should be happy and when they should be sad about things. It’s a positive outlook, after all.

Just don’t let it push you to live in a lie.