How to Overcome Overwhelm

I have been feeling overwhelmed in the past few weeks—the pressure to accomplish set goals, taking action to attain my dreams, learning, and applying. The constant juggling act I have to do daily to be a mother, work, and do my side hustles has gotten to me. I know I need to spend time to resolve this feeling of overwhelm if I am to be productive again.

I have made my life increasingly demanding—a self-imposed challenge at a near-relentless pace. My personal, family needs, work-life, working on my dreams. It’s easy to feel always overwhelmed. 

Psychologist Marla W. Deibler, PsyD, described overwhelm as a feeling of being completely overcome in mind or emotion. She says that we feel overwhelmed when we think a stressor is too significant for us to manage.

 Signs and Symptoms of Overwhelm

When a person is going through an overwhelming feeling, it can show in many ways. In general, a person is more likely to be overwhelmed by negative emotions — anger, fear, anxiety, or guilt — and it is more difficult to understand and verbalize the specific source of the stress.

When we experience negative emotions, the stress hormone cortisol is released, resulting in physical, emotional, and cognitive signs and symptoms. When we feel overwhelmed, cortisol goes through our body and leaves us with intense anxiety. And then, our serotonin stores, the chemical that helps our bodies fight off depression and anxiety, starts to decrease. This combination causes the extreme feeling of total despair, which correlates with the sense of overwhelm. Mostly, overwhelm can be uncontrollable and uncomfortable. It shows itself as anxiety, anger, or irritability, and worry. The feeling of self-doubt and helplessness also invades a person’s normal thought process. Physically, it can show when a person cries, lashes out verbally or has a panic attack. These feelings are often accompanied by a quickened heartbeat, perspiration, shortness of breath, or even chest pain.

 Emotional overwhelm can feel all-consuming. It involves being completely overcome by intense and unruly emotions that something is too challenging to manage and overcome. It can be hard to think and act rationally and even function in the usual way. One can feel frozen or paralyzed. It can impact our personal and professional life.

 Whether brought on by too much stress at work, a traumatic personal event like losing a loved one, or another triggering factor, emotional overwhelm can occur for a short amount of time or longer. Sometimes, a sequence of hardships and challenges occurring one after the other can trigger an overwhelming river of emotions.

The cognitive impact of feeling overwhelmed can range from forgetfulness, mental slowness, difficulty concentrating, confusion, or illogical thinking, to a racing mind or an impaired ability to problem solve. Over time, cognitive fatigue can happen, making us distracted easily and our thinking less sharp. If you feel constantly overwhelmed, here are some key strategies to try:

10 Ways to Deal with Overwhelm

First, write it all down. Do a brain dump. Write all your thoughts down; break them into small, concrete ideas.

Second, categorize. After writing them all down. Separate them into needs and wants. Ask yourself this question, “Is this what I want or a need? 

Third, clarity. Be clear about what you want. What will you keep? What will you stop? What will you start? It is only in clarity of what we want and need will we be able to achieve success. Know our why and let it steer our actions.

Fourth, Prioritize. What are your priorities for today? The week? The month? Identify what they are and focus on accomplishing those things first.

Why would you work on mundane tasks when there are genuinely more essential items where you can create the most value–whether for your business or your life? Schedule the most important task first.

Fifth, understand yourself and how you work. We have our way of doing things. Some like to work into the night like me. Some wake up early and have a routine of exercise, meditation, or reading before starting their day. Whatever way we want to work our day, the key is to understand how you like to work and work best. 

Sixth, reframing, and perspective. Thoughts of things going beyond our control or unpredictability are the backbone of overwhelm. It’s our unrealistic or unreasonable thoughts that trigger our stressed-out reaction. That’s why it’s critical to heed what we tell ourselves and learn to create helpful thoughts. Reframe and put things into their proper perspective. Change the way you see things. Be reasonable, practical, be realistic,

Ask yourself, “Am I looking at things, realistically?” Your goal is to create alternative thoughts that will lead to positive emotions and behavior.

Seventh, Don’t be a Perfectionist. 

Perfectionists, like high achievers, tend to set lofty goals and work hard toward them. However, a high achiever is satisfied with doing a great job and achieving excellence (or something close), even if their very high goals are not entirely met. Perfectionists will accept nothing less than perfection. “Almost perfect” is seen as a failure.

Perfectionists make tasks or projects bigger than they need to be, leading to procrastination and psychological distress. As things continue, the sense of overwhelm grows, leading to procrastination and more overwhelm. Sheryl Sandberg said, “Done is better than perfect.” We need to know when “good” is “good enough” by asking ourselves, “What is the most benefit that spending more time on this task or project going to bring?” If our answer is minimal, stop where you are and be done with it. It is also to recognize that we cannot do everything perfectly, that other people cannot do things correctly as we like them.

Eighth, Delegate, or Outsource.

 Ask yourself this question, “What is the highest and best use of my time?” 

If the activities you are doing don’t fall within your answer, they can be taught and delegated to others. Doing housework or meal preparations are some that we outsource or delegate to others to devote that time doing what will significantly impact our goals. 

Ninth, remove distractions. Review your sources of distraction and create your way of dealing with them. You can schedule blocks of time when you’ll turn off alerts. The only way to stay on schedule is to work on your schedule–not on other people.

Tenth, take breaks. Getting away for a short while from tasks, things to do will rejuvenate and energize a tired body, mind, and spirit. After a break, you will find yourself accomplishing more. You become more productive.

If all the above fails, then seeking professional help is warranted.

How Therapy Can Help You Manage Overwhelm

When we cannot control overwhelming thoughts or feelings, therapy helps address our response to them. In therapy, a qualified professional can help us sort through the issues causing our stress or anxiety and better understand its root causes. When we understand what stressors and situations trigger this uncomfortable mental state, it helps us create and nurture a calm mindset in the future. When deciding what type of therapy to manage overwhelming experiences, there are different practices to consider. Certain therapy forms incorporate meditation, hypnosis, and centering techniques to help teach people to soothe themselves during times of distress. A therapist may also recommend journal therapy or physical exercise, found to help prevent emotional overwhelm. Although there is no way to determine what life has in store for us, there are ways to build up our mental strength to better take on life’s challenges and build resiliency. When we take the time to learn what triggers our stress and anxious thoughts, we can better manage overwhelming experiences before they occur. With the right tools and hard work, we can help minimize the occurrence and impact of becoming overwhelmed.